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GB Let's forget about this, alright


Hello! hm, yes, hello, yes, I have some notes. That's probably a little bit unprofessional of me, but the altenrative is to end up with some kind of metaphysical psychedelic shopping list on there on the forearm, you know: brexit, abortions, chicken. I mean where are you doing your shopping A Tesco's on the outskirts of hell Hm Okay, we got this, we got this. Also, I mean I need this because I consume a lot of cannabis. I'll level with you the memory is not what it used to be. because yeah, I have this condition that responds well to Cannabis maybe you've heard about it. It's called... sobriety. Now you've got acute sobriety, which means you're not high all the time, and there's chronic sobriety, which means you're never high and that is difficult. No. Seriously. I do have a condition that responds well to cannabis, I have multiple sclerosis, so I now do standup about it. You know. Whilst I still can. And I can drop some knowledge on you. So MS is an autoimmune neurodegenerative disease, which are two very big words. So let me try and couch this in the form of a joke. Do you know what really gets on my nerves My immune system. So yes, the immune system attacks the central nervous system. So, if you think about it, you've got the part that really hates anything foreign, that turns on the part that is notionally in charge, and if you want to think about the consequences, you only have to look at the current state of the Conservative party to see that this is not going to end well, for anyone involved. A couple of days ago on Wednesday, I had two very nive ladies form the MS Trust (hello!) come to see me in my home to shoot something, to interview me for their YouTube channel. I had a joke here saying "I will do anything for a free T-shirt" but... I was planning on wearing the T-shirt today, but as I mention, you know, with the pot, it's kind of difficult to get your act together... but you have to imagine the T-shirt. Anyway, I did get the free T-shirt, so that's nice. And I was like "So is this for MSTV" and they're like "oh, no, this is for our main YouTube. cause we've got several YouTubes and MSTV is the YouTube for the kids." To which I replied "Look, I'm turning 35 in two weeks, as far as I'm concerned any and all YouTubes are for the kids.". I mean I have a walking stick and I'm not afraid to shake it. So they asked me a bunch of questions see, I didn't even find a proper piece of paper, they're on the other side. hm, let's see. And I figured I could give some answers for the Director's Cut version, with the stuff I couldn't say, or that they would edit out. So: "What symptoms do you experience day to day" Well, imagine that. It's like having a hangover and the flu at the same time. And then you've got the bad days. No, it's more than that, it's having like a hangover, the flu and you've just quit smoking and your period's just about to come. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about Cause I certainly don't. But I have it on good authority, I've heard it said by ladies with MS, or indeed ladies not with MS, but around me, that look at my behaviour and go "Okay, that's what's going on." So, Symptoms. Symptoms are interesting, cause you get like... it's as if, you know, they're shuffled into a deck and you get like a random hand. Everyone's got different ones, and when you meet people with MS you can compare. Unfortunately you can't trade. It'd be nice to kind of you know, give away a bit of depression and take some more spasticity on, but you can't. But every now and then you get to pick a new couple of cards, and get a little bit more in your hand. How long have I got (45 seconds) Oh, well, okay. So yes "What one advice would you give to someone who got diagnosed with MS today" is one of the questions they asked. and obviously I said... well, I said to things. the first one is: Statistically, you're likely to be female, aged between 25 and 40, so if you're single... there's probably going to be a link to my YouTube profile below this I did this to camera, obviously so send me a message... I'm on the google plus. Like all the cool people. No, seriously, my advice is... well it's the same advice, it's medical advice that in fact was pioneered as far back as the year 2000, when Dr Dre, on his seminal album The Chronic advised us to smoke weed everyday. So I've been Will Berard. Smoke weed everyday!